Why I hate Tree Huggers

Tree huggers must be among the dumbest people to walk the earth. Or drive a car. I was on the freeway on the bridge on the way to San Francisco when I saw an enourmous convoy of tree huggers driving by to protest the development of some plot of land. All their cars had the conventional environmentalist fixins: 20 anti-deforestation bumper stickers, pro-vegan slogans painted on the windows, half-flat tires, peeling paint, and bumpers and hub caps about to fall off and fly into the windshield of the car behind it and then smash someone’s head off. But one major thing struck me the most: THEY HAD THE SHITTIEST CARS ON THE ENTIRE BRIDGE.

Have you ever noticed that when the rest of society has bought newer cars with better mileage and burn their fuel cleaner, the tree huggers keep the same old cars from the hippy era: VW Beetles with rusted pipes, broken exhaust, and leaking gas. While the people who don’t care about the environment unknowingly own cars that help save the trees (damn, I’m one of them), the people who waste their time on trying to save animals and trees own cars that probably have failed their last 7 smog tests. These people are contributing more to the destruction of the very things they are trying to save. These morons have got to be the most stubborn hypocrites ever to own the right to be called humans. Tree huggers (hereafter referred to as Homo hypocritus, Homo stupidae dumbus, Homo sexual faggutus, and RETARDS) need to get laid. They’ve got nothing better to do than protest about a load of bullshit.

I forgot that the Retards have a deep connection with nature. I’ve got an idea. To be in touch with trees, we should give them the opportunity to live the amazing life of a tree. We can have animals shit on them, we can piss on them when we’re in the middle of nowhere, pull thier leaves (hair) off, etch love phrases like “Kim & Nick 4 Ever!” on their bark (skin), and (this is the best part) have them breathe car exhaust. Maybe we can even chop them down and make homes, desks, and pencils out of them. Hell, I’m sure at least 75% of all Retards have houses made primarily of wood, unless they have big fancy houses on a big plot of land that used to be home to a few trees

Basically, their message is this. Why just try to save the trees when we can drive cars that pollute our world even more? It’s a great idea! Forget logic, we’re Retards! Protesting is fun; you should do it too.

There.  That is pretty much why I hate tree huggers!

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8 Responses to Why I hate Tree Huggers

  1. M.Carone says:

    Not to Mention they go out and buy those stupid to toyota prius yeah good and “ECO FREINDLY” but what they dont see is What Toyota, Kia, Hyndia, and Mercedes all hybrid companies get to sell to Third World Counties Like China, Iraq, Even Isreil not to mention the whole continent of Africia

  2. phoebe says:

    I hate people like this

  3. Dosxx says:

    What these idiots fail to realize is that saving the earth is impossible. The Earth has been here for billions of years and will be here for billions more regardless of what we do. Humans do not have the capability of saving the earth, because there’s nothing to save…..except maybe in some kind of sci-fi kind of way. For example, like preventing a meteor from crashing into it. If that’s the case, then we need to continue using fossil fuels, if for nothing else but to create more powerful rockets and missiles that might one day actually save the earth from total annihilation. The movie Armageddon w/ Bruce Willis is such an example. It might sound rediculous, but maybe thats the whole point of our existance. The little hairless monkey known as man, might be more beneficial to the earth than the dinosaur….except of course for the actual fuels they were resposible for creating lol. So there ya go tree-huggers, U R actually getting in the way of saving the earth. If the BP oil spill is any indication of the amount of oil that is actually still in the earth, then Id say our fossil fuel inventory is in great shape.

    • donnie says:

      What we all need to keep in mind is that we are dealing with people that typically dont work and are simple minded. Protesting gives them some since of belonging even If they are belonging to a nazi like agenda. Treehugging hippies are a wort on the Ass of society and need to be delt with accordingly!!!

  4. Diana says:

    another worse thing about tree huggers is that they do not vaccinate their children, thanks to them for causing a disease outbreak!

  5. fred says:

    I hate tree hungers to they get on my nerves, an it’s werse then giting a coled.

  6. donnie says:

    Just want to say that you are exactly right. Im glad that Im not the only one that thinks This stuff about the dumbass treehuggers.

  7. Alex mills says:

    I hate it when they think they are being Eco friendly by driving a Toyota Prius, in truth because the complexity of manufacturing a hybrid the Prius does more environmental damage than a large suv

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